Disclaimer; Gundam Wing doesn’t belong to me, nor do its characters. I do not make any profit from my perverted and weird subjections to the poor people of this fic ^^
Chapter One
A figure walked in the pouring rain, hair sopped and clothes moving like skin with the younger man. Though his hair was wet, it still seemed to be able to shield the occupant’s eyes, shadowing the eyes in shadows’ shadows.
Doushite? Why…?
Small words flittered through the young man’s mind, but they were muffled, as if blocked out. The aura around the youth intensified into something that could have been mistaken for bewilderment or confusion. And in every move the figure seemed to make, a trail of sorrow seemed to follow. It was as if he were…lost…
I thought…I thought we were both happy…
The figure of the young man stopped moving as if pausing. A hand lifted to a small space on his jacket, where he was secretly hiding his gun and he wondered absently if there was anything for him beyond this life, but he knew; for people like him, there was only hell to go to.
But I guess you weren’t, ne Duo?
The rain finally fell into a light drizzle, and Heero Yuy, for the first time in hours, looked up to reveal dull but beautiful blue eyes the color of any majestic sea. The normally elegant face was gaunt and tight, and if pulled hard over the bone to fit. There were bruise-like bags under those eyes, a show of not sleeping for at least three days.
But how could he sleep, when those images would haunt him forever?
==Flashback==
Heero smiled just slightly at the small companion at his feet before getting the plate for her. He filled it with her favorite dog food, Kibbles n’ Bits, before setting it on the ground. Halo attacked the bowl with enthusiasm, large mouth crushing the semi-soft food with blunt but hard teeth. Her tail shot from side to side, a sure sign of happiness. Heero wondered what it was like to only have to worry about mundane things such as food before walking over to the pictures hanging on the wall.
There was one of him and Duo, smiling like no tomorrow. Heero remembered that day with a wistful smile. There had been wonderful weather that day, and Duo had dragged Heero outside for some fun in the sun. It had been that day that Duo had shown him a surprise; Halo. Duo had gotten the husky for him that, and the whole day they spent trying to get to know the dog better. Heero looked at the picture with jealousy. There were no more days like that anymore.
The next picture held their university graduation pictures. There had been a picnic on that day also, a huge get together of long lost friends and relatives. It had been on that day that he and Duo had confessed to each other, and had started a relationship worth keeping.
Another framed picture showed Duo and some of his coworkers of his company horsing around and smiling at the camera. There were all types of people in that picture, but one besides Duo caught his attention. The man was gorgeous, and obviously rich despite his choice of clothing on that day the picture was taken. Almond shaped copper eyes with dark navy blue hair fitted upon an almost angelic face, it was like seeing a dream. But those almond shaped eyes had something in them that didn’t fit Heero right. Something was way off about this man.
Heero snapped out of his musings when he heard a knock on the door. He briefly wondered who would be there and why, because no one in their right mind would be in this kind of weather with their own free will. After all, there was a huge storm coming.
After a quick ‘stay’ to Halo, Heero opened the door and stared at the visitor with a surprised glance.
“Can I help you?” he asked politely, but anyone who knew Heero well enough could tell that there had been an uncertainness in the tone he used.
“Aa.” The man looked down his nose at him, as if Heero were a pest. “He won’t come home to you anymore. He’s mine, now.”
“…What are you talking…about?” Heero ignored the way his heart stuttered.
“I think you know what I mean.” The man smirked. “Here,” he said taking a card out of his pocket, “if you want proof just go to the address at five.”
==End Flashback==
Heero looked up at the sky with desolate blue eyes. His heart clenched painfully in his chest and he wanted to cry, and yet… He closed his eyes briefly.
Why am I always the one? Why does everyone leave me?
He thought back to his high school days. It had been hard, but he’d had his friends to help him through all the hard times. He’d had Duo to help him through, but this time he had no one.
Everything done in those past years, though, had been a fruitless effort. Where had they gotten him? No where. He had lost Duo, and in the worst way possible; in the arms of another man, Duo had looked at him with those beautiful eyes and laughed. Had laughed at the tears that Heero had streaking down his face.
Heero looked behind and watched the smoke rise from a far away place. He knew where the fire was, though. It was at their place. The smoke symbolized the memories that blew up into the sky, those dreams that they had when they had been so young and foolish. If only, if only.
==Flashback==
Heero walked down the shore, enjoying the feeling of sand between his toes. The sun was bright and baring, but Heero felt no need to cover up. His sins were being washed away by both the sea and the sun, and it felt good.
“Heero!” The shout drew his attention to the figure running towards him. He smiled slightly. It was Duo. And though it sounded corny, Heero figured that Duo was the one for him. He was the shining star that kept the dreams and anguishing memories away. Duo was the shining light through Heero’s dark and isolated heart.
“Hey, you okay?” Heero asked worriedly, frowning somewhat at him.
Duo grinned widely. “Hell yeah! Howard and Dr. J are helping with the blue prints.”
Heero looked at Duo with wide eyes. “Don’t tell me you…”
“That’s right.” Duo beamed down at Heero. “I got the contract, and now we can have that business and house we’ve always wanted.”
Heero looked at him, his small grin becoming apparent and his sharp eyes becoming tender. He looked out toward the sunset with Duo. Yes, their future was beginning to be very bright.
==End Flashback==
The goals that had passed through Heero’s head during that day had been never ending. The happy future with some adopted kids and a dog. Money to be able to support their young, and a big house for a big family. Days spent snuggling and nights spent loving, and maybe once and a while they would steal away to other places of the world. That dream in a shinning mirror cracked and shattered.
==Flashback==
Heero sat by the fire, cuddling with Duo under the blanket while they watched the blizzard outside of their house. The wind swirled the snow outside and moaned, practically banging the windows with its persistentness, but even through that there was a peace that had set it; a peace that couldn’t be taken away from the moment.
Duo chuckled at the adorable action. “You know Heero, I didn’t take you as a cuddler.”
Heero’s eye twitched a second and a small blush formed on his cheeks. He buried his head into the nicely formed chest under him.
“Baka! Don’t say things like that.” The scold was muffled by the expanse of skin covering his face. Heero grimaced somewhat.
“…Duo?”
“Mmm?” Came the sleepy reply.
“…” Heero hesitated before tentatively saying, “Thank you.”
But Duo was too out of it to think too much of it. “You’re welcome…”
Heero smiled as he listened to the sounds around him. His eyes fluttered down, and he fell asleep hearing his new lover’s heartbeat just under him.
==End Flashback==
There would be no more times like that ever again. Those warm and fuzzy moments were the only things that kept him alive during the last three days and yet they were the things that were destroying him. It was slowly chipping away his mind and his heart, and he didn’t know how much more he could take.
-_-_-_-
That night his dreams were full of chaos and corrupted memories. He tossed and turned to get away from unseeing hands, the leaves and grass under him rustling. A cold sweat broke out on his forehead and he shuddered. His breathing became ragged and he curled up into a ball, his eyelids clenching as if to hold images at bay.
Heero suddenly sprang awake, looking around with wide and almost terrified eyes. Something was wrong, but he didn’t know what was out of place. He scanned the trees with practiced eyes but he came up with a negative. Nothing was wrong, as far as he could tell…
But that gut feeling was getting to him. Heero knew that something was going to happen, and it wasn’t going to be a good something.
…
Fuck, Heero cursed. This was the exact reason why he didn’t sleep anymore… well one of the reasons anyway. He always had been too paranoid to really sleep, and that night didn’t help one bit. But then Duo had come along and suddenly Heero could sleep without waking. It had been a miracle in disguise.
He got up quietly, grimacing as he picked up his jacket. He sighed quietly, wondering how long it would be for him to live like this. Since he was in college, it wouldn’t take much for others to realize that Heero was taking showers in the mornings in the athletic department buildings instead of at his own dorm.
But it would be a while until Heero went back to his room. It held too many memories, both good and bad. And right now all Heero wanted to do was forget.
“Sparkling angel, I couldn't see
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me.
Fallen angel, tell me why?
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door
There's no escape now
No mercy no more
No remorse cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.”
-Within Temptation, “Angels”
